From: Ben Kelley
Subject: What ing are you?

Every one of us can be described as some type of "ing."  The various types of "ings" are numerous.  We all present ourselves to the world around us as one of them.  We may shift from "ing to ing" at times, but one usually defines us.  This "ing" also describes what we think gives value to us.  Here are just a few of the "ings".

We may be considered as a "having."  Possessions hold greater value to this person than any other part of their life.  Their time, effort, thoughts, and probably, prayers, are generally focused on what they have or want to get.  God and people may be valuable to them, but, primarily for what they can get from Him/them.  The person who is this type of "ing" believes their value lies in what they have, or, are striving to have.  In their minds, they have little or no value as a person if they are not "having." 

Another type we may be is a "doing."  This person's life is defined by what he/she is doing, needs to do, or, has gotten done.  I tend to be this one.  I'm always having to "do", constantly trying to "get things done."  I don't know if it's a result of mis-using a characteristic God put in me, or, a trait instilled by my "raising" from childhood.  It's definitely something I have to deal with.  Those of us who are "doings" tend to think our value as people lies in our doing, trying to do, or "have dones".

We may be a "dreaming."  The inner life of this person is not what others see, for the world to them is what they imagine it to be.  These dreaming people do not feel they have value in the world around them, but they do in their "dreams."  An example might be,  "If I only had a chance/promotion/new home/new car/new spouse/job/etc., then I would be somebody."  This person's value, as they see it, lies in something that hasn't yet come to be in reality.

These are only a few types of "ings" we may be as individuals.  None of them, though, are what give us value, whether to other people, or, to God.  The only type of "ing" that does that is, "being."  Being God's child gives me value in His eyes.  Being my Daughter's Dad gives me value in her eyes.  Being my Wife's Husband gives me value in her eyes. (You can fill in all the being relationships you have).  There is nothing wrong with having/doing/dreaming with and for my wife, but when having/doing/dreaming/ takes the place of being her husband, I'm all wrong.  The same holds true with all our relationships; but first and foremost, it holds true in our relationship with God.  When I'm focused on "being" His child, I remain aware of our proper and true relationship; which enables me to live by His power as a natural outflowing.   When I'm aware of being His child, I tend to act like I am.  Think of your various relationships and consider how this idea would apply.

You have value in all your relationships.  That word itself means, "the fact or condition of being related."  You have a vital connection, a relation, to the other party.  When you focus on being that particular thing, you become a better spouse/parent/employee/friend/sibling, etc.  Practice being "what you is", not, "what you ain't."  Your relationships will grow stronger.

                                                      Ben